Talk Back Tuesdays With Captain Pegnose #4: Ye Bunch of Yahoos!

Aye! Ye still not be getting do ye? It be really simple, ye send the questions, and I be answerin’ yer queries. It not be that hard at all. Ye just open up yer e-maily clienty thing and just type and just send ANY queries me way. ANYTHING. Ye can even just send me a message on twitter at @CaptainPegnose. Ye can even just be leavin’ a comment right here. Do ye hate yer Captain? Fine. Ye still be keeping quiet, then we just have ta be going with the back-up ideas. This week we be patrollin’ Yahoo Answers for a quick set of pirate queries?

How do I create a pirate costume for Halloween without buying a costume?
Find a Pirate. Buy him a round of drinks. Take his clothes when he be out like a light.

How do I design a pirate-theme room on a budget?
See the last query, but steal his ship as well. Move contents of his quarters into said room. Try not to bathe fer at least 2 weeks fer the aufentic smell.

What are some pirate inspired foods for 4th grade pirate day?
Be there something wrong with Rum? Er… Fine. How bout’ Tatarr Tots, Macarroni and Cheese, Hamburgarrs, and Mead. Mead always be fine.

What are important things to do when using a pirate accent?
Speak salty, act swarthy, and never mix up the terms wench and lass.

What are some funny or good pirate sayings to put on a school sweater?
“I may not be from Private School, but yer School about to be Boarded”
“Ye may have spirit, but we be having cannons. Let’s see which be louder.”
“Me School be me Arrma Mater”
“Me School Colors Be Black With a Skull”
“Me tyke be an Honarr Student”
“Always listen ta a Teacher with an Eyepatch.”

What is a good pirate novelty cake for a one year old’s birthday party?
Rumcake. I guarantee some novelty up in that party. Although, I suppose a pirate ship be just as good.

What is the general procedure that a pirate ship would take when reaching shore for a short period of time?
Dock. Run into town. Pillage. Grab a quick drink. Run like Hell.

Any suggestions on how to turn a wagon into a pirate ship?
Let a crew member with bad vision get hammered and drive the supply wagon into town. Give it 2 minutes and it’ll definitely be going into the ship.

Is it wrong to be a pirate during the day and a ninja at night?
Aye. Just Aye.

What are some music that are good for pirate-themed party?
Well, ye be in luck, because I literally just thought of the idea ta start a band with me crew called “Pegnose and the Salty Seadogs”. We be performing anything ye want… as long as it be “Louie Louie”. All we ask be fer somethin’ ta whet our beards. We even do Barr Mitzvahs. Although, I supposed Flogging Molly be pretty good too.

How to make a working pirate ship?
Only difference between a working ship and a non-working ship be whether it floats. Have ye tried sealing the holes in it?

What would you like to read about in a pirate story?
Me… and dead ninjas.

What is a creative name for an Italian themed pirate ship?
La Nave Di Pirata… provided no one else be speaking Italian.

What are some good pirate books? One that show the nitty gritty life of a pirate?
I be inclined to “48 stories of Hook Hands”, “How to Drown a Ninja”, “Ships and Scallywags: Tales of High Seas Adventure”, and “The Old Man and The Sea”.

What is that movie called in which a pirate leaves his daughter behind in a small town on an island?
I don’t know, but that be a great idea. I have to keep that in mind should I even sire a tyke by accident.

What is the Order of Authority on a pirate ship?
Captain, First Mate, Second Mate, Anyone who still be alive and sober, Cabin Boy

What would look good from the waist down for a pirate costume?
Depends on what gender ye be. Lasses be lookin’ best with little as possible. Wenches and Lads be the opposite.

How much money does a pirate make?
Less than we spend.

How would a female pirate have her hair?
Usually however she wants it. Most Pirate lasses be preferring short to avoid unfortunate accidents. Although, long hair be handy fer improvised weaponry. I personally be preferring medium, slightly curly, and a red-head if any of ye ladies be interested.

How could I decorate for a pirate themed party?
I wouldn’t be worrying too much. If ye be bringing real pirates, it be decorating itself with rum, blood, and chaos. Anything ye be putting up will just be torn down anyway.

Any ideas for games for a pirate birthday party?
Drinking and that thing with the knife and yer hand be pretty good. I suppose you could also play “Cops and Robbarrs” though.

What does the inside of a Pirate Ship look like?
Sweat, shame, limes, bilge rats, and a chaotic mess.

When a pirate tells you that you’re ‘off the hook’ what does he mean?
It usually mean that you be on the end of his sword instead.

Well, that be all for this week. Hopefully, ye be sending me real questions by the next week. Else, we may have ta get drastic.

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